The Gentleman Thief

My bodega...sniff, sniff...WHY GOD, WHY?!?!?

2009-07-30T03:48:08Z

Seriously, WTF??!?!? My favorite bodega in Queens was my ABSOLUTE BEST source for magazines. I'm a total magazine whore, btw, and that place fed my addiction so damned well. I could even get there by bus or bike!
I was driving by a few weeks ago and saw Note the dashing man taking pics with his new iPhone.
Anyway, I found this place soon after I moved to New Hyde Park 13 years ago. That was a tough time for me in many ways; I was in college, my parents just got divorced, our house had been foreclosed on, etc. This area was totally unfamiliar to me. Early on I used to just drive around and look at things and that's how I found this place. It became something I could rely on. I could go in there and find almost any magazine that I wanted and discover new ones.
Over the years it became a regular destination for me. I could easily drop 20 bucks on just magazines during a visit. It was the last place I bought a porn mag before the internet took all that over.
Once when I was there this couple came in. They were young, dressed really sharp and were some kind of Mediterranean or something. They were attractive, hip and seemed fun and sophisticated. So I stayed kinda close, maybe hoping to spark up a conversation, they seemed like they could be up for a good time. She was hot and you never know who has an open relationship these days. What would they buy that could be a conversation starter for me? Vanity Fair? Mexican beer? A travel magazine? Dunhill cigarettes? Cigars?
No, they bought scratch-off lotto tickets, bubblegum tape and Archie comics. Threesome officially cancelled.
So I'll miss ya, bodega. I'll miss the middle-aged guy behind the counter with the weird, bright gums. I'll miss being left alone as I scanned through the magazines in a non-stealing kind of way, I'll miss being called "boss" for no reason and I'll miss the odd and fun Western Queens people who would parade in and out of there (including me, I guess).
If anyone reading this has a yen (and the money) to open a true magazine-haven kinda store on the corner of Hillside Ave and Little Neck Pkwy (near the Cross Island), please call the number on the sign. Besides the major roads, 4 very heavily traveled bus lines stop right there. Plenty of homes within walking distance, too.
Yes, there's a 7-11 right next door and a Dunkin' Donuts on the other side so you'll do no coffee business at all. Also, don't try to compete with them on things like soda, beer and junk food. Push the mags, cigars, various non-food things like office supplies, phone cards (I saw a whole lot of them sold) and find other niches. They did lots of Lotto also. You can do the Atlantic City bus thing, maybe.
Put in a few little tables and offer to let people peruse magazines in YOUR store while they drink their coffee from the other places. There isn't a Barnes and Noble anywhere nearby so you'd be the only game in town. A Hudson News-type of idea could work there but you'll have to make sure to stock Indian and Pakistani mags. Don't worry, the 7-11's magazine sections SUCKS, so you can totally kill them on that. Oh, don't do the "60% porn mags/dvds" thing with your magazine section; no one buys porn in stores anymore. They just take up space that could be used for better magazines and periodicals. Plus, they scare families away. Kids buy magazines, too!
Yes, I'm seriously pitching this idea to someone out there. I so want a new magazine place in that location. That area doesn't need another Indian travel/clothing/movie/music place. It NEEDS a magazine haven. I'd do it if my credit was better and I had a certain amount of money saved but mostly I have no desire to work in retail again.
I know that the odds of someone taking my suggestion and running with it are extremely remote but if you are, please let me know because until I find another place like this (and there are NONE near me now), there's going to be a tiny little hole in my heart.

Here we go again.

2008-10-20T05:57:19Z

I just stopped smoking again.
That's all for now.

Now I have a useless lighter.

2008-10-13T05:03:12Z

Sometime after 5am on Saturday. I got tired of drunkenly wandering around the Lower East Side looking for a subway, caught a cab to Penn.
45 minutes to kill. Back upstairs and outside, light up a Dunhill.
Three puffs in my cigarette became disgusting. I couldn't take another drag. What was satisfying became vomit-inducing.
I've wanted to quit for awhile now. The money, my teeth, the long-term fears that just won't go away, I was sick of all of it.
There was a group of homeless people to my right. I looked at them, looked at my smoke and the universe presented a door.
I realized that I could ditch this cigarette and give the rest of my pack to the homeless people: That could be my way out of this addiction. I was sick, crazy and angry enough. The door was there, the action was the key.
I knew that if I didn't do it then, my taste for cigarettes would return the next day and then more weeks, months or years of smoking.
This was the person with the eyes, the hips, the smile, or the whatever who invites you back to their apartment, the amazing job offer that comes out of nowhere and the great dog wagging its tail at you behind the bars of an animal shelter.
Yes or no, sport? Your choice, but act fast. This offer ends in 10, 9, 8...

The homeless people were happy to get the smokes.

Holy weekend!

2008-10-06T09:47:34Z

Here's my weekend, complete with links!

So my freelance writing career is GO! I had my first gig on Friday night. I reviewed the first show for the New York City rock band Stoned Fire and interviewed them after. I'll be writing (hopefully) for their press kit, press release and upcoming web site. They're a great bunch of guys and they really get along well. They've only been together for six months but they did very well. Their songwriting is not amateur at all, it's fairly sophisticated and has room to grow. They had the typical first show issues but that's normal. I see them working that stuff out. They all thought that they could've done better and they all agreed that they'd work towards that and not point fingers.
What's interesting is that they have a real grunge influence to them. If you're looking for something new in rock in the city, check these guys out. A demo is upcoming and you'll hear about it here.
I also met DJ Ody-Roc at the show. He sent me some of his stuff and let me tell you, this guy can DJ. His shows must be so much fun and his mash-ups are some of the best that I've ever heard, not the crap mashes that you usually hear.
I also gave out my brand new business cards to 10 different people including bands, a filmmaker, a photographer and a waitress. No, I wasn't trying to date her, she's into indie film so I figured, why the heck not? Cards are cheap.
I had to wait almost an hour for the bus in Kew Gardens. It didn't get there until like 3:10am. Luckily I was rewarded for carrying my nice, somewhat heavy jacket around all night because it was perfect. It wasn't so bad, actually. I had my iPod, plenty of cigarettes and just a little bit of drink in me. There was this cute younger couple sitting in an alcove near the stop. I thought about talking to them but I thought our little karmic balance; them watching me meander around as I recounted my bad past at that stop and also joyed in how the bad is in the past, me seeing them be all cute and cuddly, was too good to disrupt by talking to them.
Weird thing: There's a guy I always see going from the library near my house to the Dunkin' Donuts and back. He's probably mid-50s, beard, cane and limp. He reads a whole lot and never bothers anyone. He seems harmless, in fact, I'm mostly scared of him talking my ear off if I engage in conversation with him because of course, I'll talk books, history, philosophy, etc. Well, I saw this guy in the Dunkin' Donuts at 3:45am as I was walking home. I have to say, this adds a new element to him. More updates as they come.
Saturday was another fun night at the house of amalthea_23 and her beau. The LIRR conductor didn't take my ticket as I traveled from Hicksville to Ronkonkoma. He walked past me like 3 times. Oh well, I'll just have to go out and see them again.
It was a great time, dinner, MMA (Kimbo Slice=Joke and does not deserve a link), fire pit, hot tub, movie, a night in the best studio-plus apartment in all of Suffolk and fun all around. Fred is just nuts for that chicken, damn!
So Sunday I took the 5 minute train ride from Babylon to Lindenhurst. Again, no one took my ticket. This is the first time in my 16+ years of riding the LIRR that I got two free rides in two days. Not sure if I'm gonna use the Babylon-Lindenhurst ticket within the next 6 months, though.
Another highlight: A girl, one of those who could be anywhere from 18 to 26, dark skin, dark hair, nice little petite figure, got on the train soon after me. She had a slinky little top and small flowy skirt on and seemed unable to stop laughing or giggling. It looked like she was coming home from a late night (it was a 2:25pm train, btw) and I had this weird suspicion that she was a prostitute. She kept on looking at me, smiling and giggling but hell, drugs is wonderful things, right? No, I didn't initiate contact. Even I'm not that woman-stupid.
Anyway, in Lindy I met my sis, bro-in-law, niece, mom and step-dad. They were all going to the street fair so I joined them and not just for the free ride home. I love seeing my one year-old niece, who is the best one year-old niece in the history of one year-old nieces. I also had my camera with me and I knew that the fair would be ripe with great shots. Here are some of the best (pre-editing):

I'll eventually post the edited versions somewhere. Once I decide where, I'll post the link.
The most satisfying thing was all the evil eye that I got from the carny-types as I took my pics. Maybe they thought I was some sort of town/county/state inspector-type. Fun times.

Writer's Block: Church & State

2008-09-28T15:16:32Z

Should church and state always be separate? Why or why not? What should the nature of their relationship be?

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Ye gods, people, it's in the Constitution and fairly clear, at that. Only those without a knowledge of history are against a separation of church and state. The writers of the Constitution wanted to protect the religions from government interference and preserve true religious freedom. I really with that those who oppose this idea take a look at European history from about the 1300s to the late 1800s and they'd see what I mean.

Mike Tyson was a bad man

2008-09-27T04:13:57Z

I'm a fan of boxing. Well, boxing history, at least. From the earliest evidence of boxing to about the time when Mike Tyson lost to Buster Douglas, boxing was an absolutely amazing sport. Since then, it's destroyed itself; MMA is just shoveling the last bit of dirt on boxing's grave.
Anyway, I love the fact that ESPN Classic shows a whole lot of old boxing matches and also brings in boxers and experts to discuss matches and fighters of the past.
They've cemented my love of Jack Johnson. Please, please, please check this out: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Johnson_(boxer) . I've learned about and seen Jack Dempsey, Joe Louis, Ali and all the others who made the 20th century such an amazing time for boxing.
Anyway, they just showed the Tyson-Spinks bout from 1988, which I saw. I can remember that my parents got it on pay-per-view and invited a bunch of friends and family over. Well, it wasn't a long party as Tyson demolished Spinks, knocking him out in 1:31 of the 1st round. That was a well-spent $39.99.
What's amazing about that fight is that Spinks was an experienced fighter, undefeated, a former world and Olympic champion. It seemed like Spinks was going to be Tyson's best opponent. His previous bouts were against some overrated champions and a 39 year old Larry Holmes.
Tyson just ripped his way to the top of the top of the heavyweight class. It should'nt have been so easy for someone so young. Tyson was just a few days shy of his 22nd birthday when he beat Spinks. By that time he had all 3 heavyweight title belts and was recognized as one of the best heavyweights ever. That is amazing for someone so young; boxing is a sport that rewards experience.
We all know what happened to Mike Tyson. He became the biggest example of wasted talent and potential ever. He also became an example of how management can mess up an athlete, so a big f-you goes out to Don King, that selfish prick.
The fight was nuts. Tyson just did not respect Spinks' jab or counter-punching at all. He just kept coming at Spinks. He knocked Spinks down with a body shot, then a flurry of punches resulted in a nasty left-right combo that landed on Spinks' head and he just fell back, dazed.
At that moment, Mike Tyson was the best heavyweight in the history of boxing.

Holy freakin' crap, my bank died!!

2008-09-26T20:39:49Z

What the hell happened, Washington Mutual? Y'all may have heard that WaMu failed, got taken over by the government and then sold to JP Morgan Chase (gasp!).
Sure, the fact that myself and other customers of yours who withdrew something like $17 billion dollars in the 10 days after your name was mentioned in the wake of the Lehman Brothers collapse probably didn't help matters. What were we supposed to do? Even though we're FDIC insured, it's really scary when you hear that your bank is in trouble, especially in this economy. I myself am lucky because some types of accounts and services are NOT FDIC insured but I don't have any of those. Besides that, I'm in love with my new ING online checking account (it offers interest with no minimums!) but I was going to still use you, WaMu. Now I can't. I was going to stay in the relationship for the good of my ING account and my convenience. I didn't cause this break-up; you did. The failure, combined with the JP Morgan Chase takeover is just too much for this hombre to handle. You are to blame for this, WaMu, only you.
Sub-prime mortgages? Really? C'mon, WaMu, someone who you pay six figures annually should've realized that they are a losing proposition. Doesn't your upper management have finance degrees and MBAs? I thought that people like that would know what they're doing and not seem bent on running businesses into the ground while they steal their all-too-large piece of the pie. I really can't feel sorry for a lending institution who honestly felt that sub-prime mortgages were a good idea in the long term. I, without any finance degree or background, could've probably told you that they were a losing proposition. Not that individuals aren't to blame here also but the banks and lending institutions should know what they're doing.
More and more information is coming out about the misdeeds and poor management of your CEO. Maybe I just don't know the finance world but I would imagine that a CEO of any financial firm would have a clue about what he's doing and wouldn't push the firm into risky territory. Oh well, as long as he gets his $10 million dollar buyout or golden parachute, things will be better, right? Karl Marx must be spinning in his grave right about now. So too must the actual J.P. Morgan. If you were running one of Morgan's concerns (businesses, but "concerns" sounds all old-timey) and you ran it into the ground but made huge personal profits, you'd only enjoy that money for a short time. Morgan would come after you, take all the money back, ruin your future career prospects and you might even end up dead. I know, it's hard for me to hate a company named after a person who managed his businesses like that but they're pretty far removed from good 'ole J.P.
Just had to push for each dime, didn't you WaMu. Just had to push for every quarter to be more profitable than the last, damn the consequences, right WaMu? So blame us depositors all you want but you know you yourself caused your collapse.
It's not all your fault, the whole financial industry in this country is kinda broken and has been that way for about a decade. I wish more people would notice this instead of maxing out their credit cards, taking trips that they really can't afford and reaching on their cars and homes. The stakes are so much higher now and I didn't even mention unemployment. What's it gonna take, a full-scale Depression? But heck, if the Dow goes up, all is good, right?
Now, because of your stupidity, WaMu, my assets are officially in the hands of the Evil Empire. I feel dirty and soiled now. I won't even give Chase an ATM fee unless there's no other reasonable alternative. If it's Chase ATM versus dirty bodega ATM, I'm taking the bodega one. Well, that and you can meet women in NYC bodegas. Just sayin'.
Now I'm going to close the damn account, which now complicates things because I bank without a car (that's what I get for going back to school full-time and living in a place that takes pubic transportation seriously). I need a linked checking account to make deposits into my sweet little ING account so now I have to find another local bank. Not that I don't live in walking/reasonable bus or biking distance of at least 8 different banks but still, it's a hassle.
Now, on the flip side, WaMu, this is a test of how deep my personal capitalism really goes. A real Chase location is actually the closest bank to me; a painfully easy walk from my house. Do I go for the convenience and side with the big player? Do I trust my financial future to the vast JP Morgan Chase empire? Do I side with the big dog? Do I travel around the New York City area, knowing that there is most likely a Chase ATM nearby, offering the joy of no ATM fee? In an insecure market, do I look the security of size and assets? These are all interesting questions but I'll have to flex my 21st century capitalist muscle and do lots of online research. Then I'll decide if my personal financial politics will influence my decision or not.
I'm gonna miss you, WaMu. You were my first commercial bank after years in a credit union. You were my first online banking and bill-pay experience. You opened up two convenient, walkable-from-my-house locations. Your advertising was interesting and eye-catching without being trendy, boring or pretentious. Your tellers wore those nice blue button-downs shirts. Yes, that created the whole "uniform=peon" feel but at least they were neatly dressed. Safe passage into the next life WaMu, you will be missed.

I'll be posting entries about my bank search. I'll include information and links in case y'all are interested in this stuff also.

My law education is go!

2008-09-13T04:49:00Z

Well, it's on now. My legal research cherry has officially been popped. My paralegal studies threw me into the law library today for the first time and I think I like it.
However, as a Person With An English Degree, I was a bit irked by the fact that law seems to have its own language. I didn't have my thesaurus with me and I sure could have used it. Who knew?
One thing that I was happy about is that my research partner is also an Older Student, like me, so we got along fine. It's nice to deal with other people who have work experience and know how to work with someone without starting any stupid drama. I've always had the "I'm here to work, making friends is a bonus" attitude at my various jobs and I've taken that to school. I never understood why some people have to like someone to be able to work with them. I've worked fine with people who I don't like at all; I just keep it all business. I'm sure people I've worked with haven't like me at all also (although that's hard to imagine, I'm just that awesome) and I think they appreciated my attitude. If they didn't, well, I don't care. We got work done and got our paychecks. That should be enough for them.
If someone was paying me to be friends with them or someone else, that would be different. If anyone wants to pay me for that, please get in touch. I don't have any experience in that field. Although I've lived near and worked near rich people for my whole life, I was never that person who kissed some rich person's ass to be "friends" with them just to reap the benefits. My integrity and emotional health always get in the way of stuff like that. It's annoying.
This should serve me well as a paralegal. Some attorneys can be real jerks to their subordinates (hard to imagine, I know) but it wouldn't bother me at all. I might not run through walls for them but I'd do my work. Well, if it was a hot female attorney and she was a jerk, I might do more for her. Gotta keep that "Hot bitchy boss might fuck me on her desk" fantasy alive, you know. I mean, there are so many porno situations like that and when has porno lied to us or offered us an unattainable fantasy? For example, all women like their men to finish on their faces, right?
Now that, on my first LJ post ever, I've figured out I can mark it as "Adult", I can bring my ideas together. One thing that made today's foray into legal research better was my professor. In my view, she's an Attractive Older Woman. She knows her stuff cold and can be a bit harsh and challenging in class. She's nice, don't get me wrong but she doesn't make things easy. I like difficult professors so it doesn't bother me.
Anyway, having her come over to me, lean in real close and point out things in the book with her long, perfectly painted red nails was hot. I have to admit that I did keep her a bit doing that a bit longer than I needed to. What can I say? I'm a man, I'm single, I have a strong libido and I absolutely love women, both young and older. Being 32, it's nice walking around campus and knowing that I could hook up with both students and faculty. I know, the professors won't because they don't want to risk losing their jobs but I wouldn't complain (if I was attracted to the professor in question, that is) and I can dream, can't I?